Part 1: Blindfolded

I pull the blindfold from my eyes and blink the dust away.  How long was that thing on? My eyes seem to take forever to focus, unaccustomed to being used.  Luckily the light here is dim allowing my eyes to adjust easily. First I take a quick inventory of myself, looking down.  My clothes are ripped and shredded, tears in my shirt reveal festering wounds. Along my arms and chest are several scars, no doubt a result of stumbling around blindfolded for so long. Every inch of skin not covered by what remains of my tattered clothing is crusted in black dirt. I try scrapping some of it off with a fingernail but after removing the substantial outer layer it looks like the grime has soaked into my skin. Next I take in my surroundings, trying to figure out how I got here.  I am in a long corridor with a T-split directly in front of me.  I look behind me, the way I presumably came. There is nothing to see there but darkness stretching into an unfathomable distance.  As I turn to face the path ahead I catch something out of my peripheral vision I hadn’t noticed before, the number 27 written in chalk on the charcoal floor beneath me. I stare at it quizzically, not sure what to make of it. Somehow I am certain that it refers more to a timeline rather than distance, but there’s no way to know for certain. There’s obviously no going back into that darkness and being uncertain of where I am now, coupled with the burning of those infected wounds leave me but one choice: to move forward.  A few short steps bring me to the T and I receive yet another surprise. The path to my right is littered with people. Tons of them actually.  There are people of every shape, size, age, race, and religion. They are all facing away from me, shuffling slowly down the path. The path is on a slight downhill grade, seemingly made of solid stone. It looks to be quite a bit wider than the path I just came from and seems to get wider the further down it goes. Not that it appeared to matter, it looked insanely crowded as far as I could see, people elbowing and jostling to gain position.  A reddish light shone up the path from some far distant source, but it wasn’t steady, almost seeming to flicker and flare like a flame.  Where could all those people be going? It must be pretty decent if all those people were struggling to get there, some even seeming to be in a hurry as they pushed and shoved their way ahead.  Before I even realized it my feet had turned that way and shuffled a couple steps down the path. 

“Travis”

What was that? Did I hear that right? It sounded like my name, but I couldn’t be certain with the loud sound of shuffling feet. It sounded like it came from behind me, curiosity begging me to turn my head. I was surprised the effort it took to pull my eyes away from down the path ahead to look back.  Finally looking over my shoulder I saw where the voice came from, if indeed it was a voice. It was the path that would have been to the left of the T.  Compared to this current path the left path is very narrow, high walls hemming it in on both sides to where it looked like you could only walk single file.  There were no people on this path, not that they could have gone far; it looked like the roof had caved in, a huge jumble of rocks ranging in size from softball size up to a few huge boulders blocked the path.  From the top of that pile came a faint yet piercing white light.  Unlike the red light, this was steady, yet dim from the obstruction blocking the path.  Oh well, looks like there’s no going that way, must have imagined it. As I was about to turn my head back around, I heard it again, unmistakable.

“Travis”

It was a womans voice, and something about it reached down through my ears and into my heart. I felt a small flutter and had to stifle a gasp. I stopped dead in my tracks, sucking in a few short breaths through gritted teeth. How could a voice do that to me? The simple sound of my name from that voice roused such a powerful feeling. I realized then the sharpness of that feeling was magnified because I hadn’t felt much of anything that I could remember.  Now I was compelled and knew I had to turn around. As hard as turning my head was, changing direction with my whole body seemed to be an even greater task yet. Only with the feeling in my heart from hearing that mysterious voice saying my name gave me enough strength and will to do a 180 and start moving back towards the left path.

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This is a story I have envisioned in my head, but as I began writing it out I realized it was rather lengthy so in an attempt to not bore you and lose you before the finish(and to maybe generate some good old fashioned anticipation) I have given you the first chunk, and will write the next part(or possibly parts) in the next day or 2. So I hope you enjoy and hope you'll be interested to hear the rest of the story. And of course, feedback and comments are always appreciated!

Rejoicing in what is worth rejoicing in

What do I rejoice and find my joy in? This is a question I was pondering this morning and the following is mostly a paraphrase of my journal entry this morning.

I need to find my joy in Christ and His salvation. It is too easy to be distracted and find my happiness in other things. Whether its my girlfriend, hockey, family, a job or any other variety of activities and interests I tend too often to find my contentment in them. But this is wrong. There is only one thing that can bring me the deepest, longest lasting joy and that is what Christ did for me on the Cross.  Not that enjoying those other things I mentioned are wrong in any way, but they should always be viewed in light of Gods grace and forgiveness. Indeed when I take those earthly pleasures and hold them in the over reaching greatness of Christs love for me and subject them to Gods will for my life I find an even deeper and pure joy in them.
And this belief of holding salvation as the root of my contentment is all the more evident when these earthly things aren't bringing me joy or are actually bringing me sorrow.  When I find my hope, joy, and peace in the finished work of the Cross nothing can shake the deep seeded peace in my heart.  Tears may fall, my heart may ache, bones may break, relationships may end, but salvation is mine eternally. These earthly things can never add or detract from the heavenly things promised me. This is where I find my joy and rejoicing.

This thought stemmed from Luke 10 where Christ appointed 72 men to go out and teach and cast out demons and heal the sick. When they returned they were rejoicing, being amazed that they were able to cast out demons. Christs response is truly remarkable to me. Instead of saying "Good job" or patting them on the back for a job well done He brings the focus back to salvation.
Luke 10:20 "Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven."
Now I haven't cast out any demons recently, but yet I still find myself rejoicing in things other than my salvation. How much more I should focus on Him and His free gift!

So if you are content and find joy in your life, rejoice even more in Gods forgiveness and love. And if you are hurting and at a loss for happiness, find comfort, peace and hope in the deep joy of Christs redemptive work on the Cross for you.

I will glory in my Redeemer,
Travis

Don't look now...

Don't do it. You will be tempted but I am telling you for your own good, resist. Do not look at the calender. Do not check your phone. And whatever you do, DO NOT scroll to the bottom of this post and check the date.  You just did it didn't you? Sigh...well just don't do the mental math. Oh you did already? So now you have realized the dilemma, the very thing I was trying to spare you from. You have come to the stark realization that Christmas is less than two weeks away. That's right, t-minus 12 days and counting. Now maybe you are one of those "smart" people who have all your presents bought and wrapped in pretty paper with dainty bows on top and are just simply waiting for Christmas to get here. But if you are like me and everyone else your shopping list doesn't seem to get shorter, the parties-to-attend list gets longer and time just simply seems to vanish. I thought I was in the "smart" peoples category but then I realized I have these little people called nieces and nephews who would like something from Uncle Travis but they seem to fail to realize that Uncle Travis doesn't have the financial means to buy each of them a pony. Add to this the unfamiliar custom of trying to buy a meaningful gift for my girlfriend (just a note here that I am certainly not complaining about this) and my mind has been about frazzled.  I was scrolling through facebook the other day and noticed a post from a friend of mine. In it she talked about making lots of "x-mas" cookies. I of course had to mention that its Christmas not x-mas which she in good humor explained to me the reasoning for using the different term. She pointed out that Christmas is (rightfully so) about the birth of Christ and His love for us and should be focused on thanking Him for the best gift of all, while she used the term x-mas for all the busyness of the season; making cookies, going to plays, buying presents and the general commercialization of Christmas.  My answer to this was that while it is true that so many things can distract us this time of year, we should be doing those "x-mas" things in the true spirit of Christmas, with our hearts and minds constantly mindful of the true Gift we are celebrating. Its easy to lament the commercialization and distortion of what Christmas is really about but I think that is just our human nature to be distracted by things that shouldn't matter in relation to the greatness of the message attached to the season. We are all familiar with the story of the birth of Christ, how there was no room in the inn for Mary and Joseph so they were relegated to the stable. Is this just a coincidence in the story? I don't think anything in the Bible is just a coincidence and I believe it paints a good picture of our own modern misplaced priorities.  Did Mary and Joseph tell the inn keeper they were about to deliver the Son of God? Did the inn keeper not believe them or simply not care? Was it a case of the highest bidder gets a room, despite the obvious need of very pregnant woman? Who knows. But we know what that infant boy born that night went on to do for us; to live and die and then rise again to cover our sins. Let us find room in the inn of our hearts this Christmas season for Him, the Baby Jesus, the Savior Jesus Christ, God our Father and the Holy Spirit that dwells in us now.
Merry Christmas, and God bless!

Peace

What do you think of when you hear the word "peace"? Is it a word you only think about when you hear it on the news, describing some far away countries? In those cases it normally seems to be in the context of a lack of peace or unstable peace.  In America we enjoy a pretty fair reality of peace, war being a removed idea for most of us, the exception being those who serve in the armed forces. This, as I see it, is a problem.

Why is peace a problem? Well as sinful people we a predisposed to strive, war and fight.
Isaiah 59:7-8 "Their feet run to evil, and they are swift to shed innocent blood; their thoughts are thoughts of iniquity; desolation and destruction are in their highways. The way of peace they do not know, and there is no justice in their paths; they have made their roads crooked; no one who treads on them knows peace."

The whole chapter of Isaiah 59 gives examples of how people fight and strive apart from God and the futility of it. So what is it you "war" with? What are the "battles" you face? Do you fight and claw your way up the ladder to get a better job? Do you wrestle everyday with who you are supposed to marry or finding contentment in being single? Is it family, friends, or co-workers that you bicker with? And most importantly do you fight with God in your heart?

This may seem like an odd question, one that needs some clarification. First off you must be a Christian to even begin to find peace in God.  The Bible is full of verses about the enmity between God and unbelievers and not why I wanted to write this piece so I will skip over that for now, but if you have any questions I would love to discuss them. But as a Christian do you find peace in God? You have peace with God through Christs' finished work on the cross, but do you find an all consuming comforting peace in Him?
Philippians 4:6-7 "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
I always read this verse wrong, thinking it said the peace of God passes all understanding, as if the peace of God gave us understanding, and while that might be partially true, what it really says is much more profound. The peace we have in God surpasses understanding, as in it goes beyond our comprehension, or at least should. When we are worried about jobs or relationships or money or any other myriad of things, as Christians we should have a peace that not only unbelievers can't understand but even we should be baffled by how complete His peace is. I admit that too many times I am quick to try to find my own answer or solution to a problem, or just simply allow the problem to tumble in my mind instead of turning to God for comfort. Does this mean we won't have problems? Absolutely not. God has promised us suffering and strife. This life was not meant to be easy. But He has promised to give us peace as long as we turn to Him. The struggles and hardships we face are meant to teach us reliance on Him.

John 16:33 "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."
As I studied peace this verse stuck out to me the most. It is spoken by Jesus Christ shortly before He would be crucified for my sins.  How can I have peace in a man who promises me tribulation and would suffer a brutal death? Because of that last statement "I have overcome the world." Sure, He died, but validated His claim by rising 3 days later. There is nothing here on earth that I can go through that He can't sympathize with or the He didn't face Himself. Not only did He face it, but He overcame it all. And that thought, coupled with the fact that He now sits with God the Father, making intercession for me brings me peace indescribable.

John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

Hope

Hope: now there is a broad subject. At its base it is a pretty generic term, used commonly without much thought or deep meaning. We hope to get to work on time, hope for a promotion, hope our team wins the game, just generally hope something good happens in any given situation.  But the definition according to Webster is deeper and more specific than that. "To cherish a desire with anticipation" certainly sounds more poetic and involved than a catchy presidential campaign motto(sorry, had to throw that shot in there). Not just to want something to happen or even desire or anticipate an event. The key word in that definition is Cherish.  "To entertain or harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely" is the description I like best of cherish. When you hope to get to work on time it is simply a passing thought, a desire to maybe appease your boss or simply avoid their wrath. It may be a thought of getting in and out of work quickly so you can do something you truly cherish.  But this is not real hope. You are not eagerly anticipating getting to work and odds are you don't cherish work to the extent of anticipation and desire to be there.
So what defines hope? I think that varies from person to person, based upon where you are at, your individual struggles, beliefs and desires in life. For me I hope a lot of things: I hope that God continues to work in me, to refine me and purify me. I hope He continues to work His redeeming grace through me and use me to show His love to others.  I hope that God leads me and my future wife's heart together and to love her as Christ loves me. I hope to love my family more. I hope in the salvation He has freely given to me to secure a place in His presence for all eternity. These are all things I cherish deeply and eagerly anticipate with all the giddiness of a child on Christmas morning.  How about you? What do you hope for? I would love to hear what you cherish and desire.  
I do genuinely hope this has blessed you in some way and maybe challenged you to take stock of where and in whom we place our hope. Too many times I place my hope in things that disappoint and fail to satisfy. When we "hope" in something lets ask if it is something we truly cherish or whether we should cherish it.  There is one person, Jesus Christ, who we can hope in and put all our other hopes into and will never be disappointed. He should be our ultimate hope, the ultimate desire that we cherish with anticipation.


Ps 39:7 "And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you."(ESV)


^{Hebrews 6: 13-20 "13}For when God made a promise to Abraham, since He had no one greater by whom to swear, He swore by Himself, ¹⁴saying, "Surely I will bless you and multiply you." ¹⁵And thus Abraham, having patiently waited, obtained the promise. ¹⁶For people swear by something greater than themselves, and in all their disputes an oath is final for confirmation. ¹⁷So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of His purpose, He guaranteed it with an oath, ¹⁸so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. ¹⁹We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, ²⁰where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek." (ESV)

Musings of a Wild Man: Glory

Its amazing how 3 months of unemployment can erase 8 years of damage done by working.  Quitting was an almost immediate relief and I would liken it to the blind receiving sight when I walked out of Sams nearly 3 months ago. When I walked into that building at 19 years old I was a happy, loving kid. Sure, I was far from perfect and definitely had my vices but by and large was a good kid. I didn't cuss, never drank and regularly attended church. As I look back at that time I can see the problems, the hidden sins that were laying in wait to undermine me when I was exposed to the full brunt of the worlds influence, but the me back then was so much closer to God than the me that was barely drawing breath the day before I left. Make no mistake; I am to blame for my own abandonment of my walk with God. There is no excuse, no explanation acceptable for my desertion of the Truth. That said though, 8 years of consistent hammering of the worlds lies and temptations took a devastating toll on my soul.  Examining the Travis that entered Sams, the Travis the day before I quit, the Travis the very next day, and the Travis today would be a character study worthy of millions of pages in contrast.  But that is not the point of this blog, not to look back at where I was and what I was, but where I am and what God has made me.
One of the things I hated most about Sams was the "retail curse" of an ever changing schedule and the lack of weekends off. I missed untold events from family birthday parties to church retreats to such mundane things as hockey games because retail scheduling by its nature forces you to work when the vast majority of people are off.  My commitment in this time of freedom has been to engage in as many of these activities that I was inhibited from before and have been so blessed by it. Simple things such as getting coffee with friends on a Saturday to spending a weekend with family in Estes Park have made a huge step in filling in the missing times I experienced while working.  And in all of these things I have been astounded by this simple truth that I know I over looked too many times: The all-surpassing Glory of God.
The weekend I spent with family in Rocky Mountain National Park really began this realization. I could write for hours on the majesty of elk and the beauty I see in them and the haunting song an elk bugling plays in my soul, but what struck me most that trip was the grandeur of the mountains.  On Friday afternoon the weather was perfect and after lunch I took my Bible out to a deck by our cabin and began reading. The Big Thompson river rambled on steady down the hill below me, the sun cast its warming rays over me and Longs Peak stood jagged against the skyline rising defiantly over the foothills nearer the cabin. I would agree there probably isn't a bad place to read Gods Word, but I argue there isn't a better place. That morning we had hiked up to Dream Lake to fish and I had hiked up further to Emerald Lake. Emerald lake is nestled in a glacial basin, fed by a tiny waterfall of snowmelt that falls down a sheer rock wall a hundred feet to the lake. Towering to the left is a monstrous rock face, rising abruptly out of the loose scree a thousand feet straight up.  Jagged spires rise to the right, dangerous yet invitingly beautiful. It was here that I was struck with the full force of Gods glory.  In this place I could feel my insignificance. A tiny man, not even six feet tall I was surrounded by giant monoliths of rock and snow. My heart couldn't help but quake at the glory of Gods creation. Yet a small whisper filled my soul, a resounding truth echoed through me; "You can bring me greater glory than all this". Yes, Gods creation is magnificent and awe-inspiring. But He has chosen us, you, me, to bring Him glory.  His power to create the wonders our eyes behold and our senses experience in the mountains and wild places bring him immense glory. But I testify to His ability to redeem a sinful man such as me, to change and mold my heart to worship Him should bring Him infinite more glory!

Psalms 19:1 The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament shows His handiwork.

In the wild I belong

Here alone in the dark the fire crackles. Cool crisp air dances soft like a spiders web along my skin, tracing a delicate path where the fires warmth lacks. A sudden hiss and pop showers sparks like renegade fireflys cutting loose into the night.  Pines tower above, their pitch black silhouette barely standing free of the dark sky that lies like a blanket over the horizons shoulders.  Stars shimmer out of the night, as if there is pure white light behind a black piece of paper with tiny holes poked through it. Mountains draw a jagged line, reflecting back an inverse image in the inky glass lake, making you feel that if you stared at it long enough you may not know which was actually up.  The rush of the stream sounds up the hill, pulling its water and my worries away on its wandering path to the sea.  From the night a long and haunting bugle reaches out, teasing the hair on my neck to stand, a shiver to run down my spine. The majestic sound fades, answered by another call farther off, natures finest symphony playing on through the night.  It is here my heart is home, my soul finds peace.  Hunkering down further into myself as the embers slowly fade and die I come alive with each breath, sight and sound.  In the wild I belong. In the wild, I belong.